Friends: We make time for the things that are important to us.

When my husband handed me my phone back after my surgery, I had quite a few text messages in regards to well wishes. Two stood out the most. One person that I considered to be a friend asked me what hospital I was in and said she would try to make an effort to come see me. I responded by saying “okay” knowing she was never going to make the time to show up. At least she wished me well, right?

The other person was a mutual friend of the first person I mentioned above. The day I was diagnosed she was aware and offered to accompany me to doctors appointments if my husband had to work. A week after that offer, I texted her to so we could hang out. No response. Called her a few days later; no response. I heard from her finally when she sent me well wishes on the day of my surgery and I simply replied “Thanks.” No responses all while she and mutual friend mentioned above were out hanging together, posting statuses and pictures on Facebook, living it up.

Fuck Josie, she’s not that important; that was the message I got.

I don’t expect much from people in general. But I expect my close friends to be there for me and lift the load from my mother and husband, if they could, while I was recovering. Strangers became my friends and did what friends were supposed to do.

I had a couple friends that did help me a whole lot. And when I mean a “whole lot,” I mean went out of their way at least once or twice to do something for me. One cooked and cleaned for me about two times. The other took me shopping because I could not really drive and anything else that I needed, I knew they would do for me just to give my spouse a break. My husband’s friends  were there for me big time as well. If no one knew any better, you would have thought they were my close friends. They rushed to our rescue so many times.

It has been 5 weeks since my surgery. I have been home; I only go to school once a week to keep myself busy. Not once did any of my closest friends suggest we go for ice cream, come sit and watch a movie with me or to just come talk and let time pass. Before my husband went back to work three weeks ago, he was my number one friend and although I was very disappointed and sad, his very presence suppressed that.

My best friend goes to school in Philly, but home for her is in the Caribbean. Might I say she is a typical student who struggles financially but has booked a ticket to come spend time with me. She has kept up with me through text messages to make sure I was well and conversed with me as though she were next to me.

I can’t say I did not have no one beside me, but I have learned who those people would be when rough times came. I don’t need friends who only show up on Facebook and say “you got this” but are no where to be found on any given day. God opened my eyes and revealed what money could not buy and that was selfless friends.

 

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